1. The Thrill of the Chase
During a summer internship in Los Angeles, Marcell uses what little money he has to lease a Porsche convertible for $1,200/month, mainly because he watched too much “Entourage” and fancies himself a Black Vinny Chase. Cruising around Hollywood at 2 a.m. one night leads to a very shocking encounter with an older woman who claims that she “used to be in Hustler.” Marcell takes her word for it. So begins the sexual adventures of Marcell Hilliard.
2. You Get A Valentine!…and You…and You
How did Marcell go from a heart-on-his-sleeve romantic to the forever bachelor he is today? This chapter includes many hilarious stories from Marcell’s early dating life, like when he left a love note on the playground for his crush to "accidentally'' find.
3. “When You See Something, Say Something”: How Homeland Security Helped Me Get Laid
In his first year as a newly graduated, freshly minted investment banker in New York City, Marcell takes a cue from the NYPD to vastly improve his dating life.
4. Keepin’ It Casual: Or, How My Karma Got Fucked by Fucking Too Much
In his ‘20s, Marcell liked to ‘keep it casual’ and often made sure he maintained a ‘roster’ so he didn’t get lonely. But what about when this backfires? In this chapter, Marcell learns that keeping someone around just for sex can go both ways.
5. Let’s Go On Vacation to Celebrate the Fact That We Just Met
Marcell tries to experience an entire relationship in a single vacation, from meetup to break up. In this chapter, Marcell learns that even when you’re on a romantic getaway, you can’t always get away from the fact that you’re not compatible.
6. What It's Like to be a Black Man With a Big…Inferiority Complex
This chapter focuses on Marcell’s experiences with race and dating. He gets real about the pressure black men feel to be good in bed, dating women of different races and ethnicities, and pushback within his own community.
7. Fuck Me Thru the Phone: Why FaceTime Doesn’t Always Lead to Quality Time IRL
Marcell meets the girl of his dreams but there’s only one problem: she lives on the other side of the country. When she unexpectedly moves to New York, he becomes enthralled at the prospect of becoming her boyfriend, while she becomes less and less interested.
8. Why You Should Definitely Date Your Coworkers—Especially the Ones Who Work In H.R.
Marcell explains why dating your coworkers can make your job a lot more fun. In this chapter, Marcell attends a work-related charity event and makes a pass at an older woman, who just so happens to be the CEO of the company hosting the event. The chapter ends in some very messy, gotta-read-it-to-believe-it period sex.
9. Friends Without Benefits
Marcell thinks he’s met the perfect girl, again. She's smart, ambitious, beautiful, and funny. But after a few amazing dates, she starts to back away and Marcell can't figure out what happened. A few weeks later, he finds out that the girl chose her "best guy friend" over him. This chapter delves into Marcell's struggles with women who have single guy friends.
10. Swimming in the Shallow Pool of Online Dating
As a long-time single guy, Marcell has put in over 10,000 hours on dating apps, making him an expert on the topic. Convinced that swiping right enough times will help him find the love of his life, Marcell begins to treat dating like a competition. When he moves to San Francisco, Marcell learns that Silicon Valley has made us all players in the game of dating. In this chapter, Marcell provides a guy’s perspective on how dating apps and social media have changed the dating landscape.
11. Pulling Out of San Francisco
After a rooftop rendezvous with a hot neighbor—during which he lends a helping hand to pull out her IUD—Marcell vows to turn over a new leaf and leave his playboy ways behind. But is he really ready to give up the hard-partying club life of his younger days to settle down with a girl who calls herself a “grandma” because she likes to stay home every night?
12. Locking it Down During Lockdown: How I Learned to Cohabitate During Covid
At the start of the pandemic, Marcell felt like Will Smith in "I Am Legend": isolated and alone in a vast metropolis, only without a dog or fit MILF to chase zombies with. When his job goes remote, he decides it's time to test out the L.A. dating scene. Upon relocating to Hollywood, Marcell quickly meets an executive producer, then asks her to move in with him after just a few months of dating. This chapter details Marcell's first serious relationship in over a decade.
13. It's Not Me, It's You
Six months into their relationship, Marcell and his girlfriend decide to embark on a romantic weekend together in San Francisco. When they get to LAX, there’s only one problem: Marcell is the only one with TSA-precheck. Instead of joining his girlfriend at the regular security line, Marcell decides he can’t be bothered to take off his shoes and remove his laptop. This sums up their relationship. Marcell is learning what true commitment is and takes the easy way out. They decide to break up for a number of reasons, but mainly for Marcell’s inability to put in the effort when things get hard.
14. Seeking a Partner Who's 'Mortgage Material'
In the final chapter of Sorry I Ghosted, Marcell experiences his worst nightmare: getting kicked off a dating app for making too many jokes about a girl's cat in her profile. His account gets deleted and he has to hack his way back in with a new (fake) phone number and email address. Thanks to the miracle of the Hinge algorithm, he ends up re-matching with a woman who becomes his current girlfriend. Things are going well, but Marcell wonders: are they compatible enough for marriage and a mortgage? Will our former-player-turned-supportive-boyfriend finally decide to make the ultimate commitment?